This is my old livejournal I found laying around my computer. I just thought, you know with my poetry and my seventh grade journal and everything, I could post is up here for posterity sake. I planned for this blog to be about my life and programming tutorials. I’m still working on the programming tutorials (as in, well, thinking about them). And all this old stuff, I guess is a good way to get to know me in a way. Mostly it helps me store stuff in a central location I want to look up later. So here goes. (Remember this is like 9-10 years ago):
Posted on clasheerian.com
In the extremely slow process of reviving TCX, I need help because I’m sick. I can’t lead up an organization like this without some self-motivated individuals and some compassionate help. It’s a nice dream and ideal, and in my clearer moments I’m a brilliant executioner, but I’m not getting any better.
If you really want TCX to come back in full force, you’ll understand this and you will find people who can help, not just anybody. You will begin to see your own place and what you can do within the organization. How can I be so unstable and see things I have to do on my own for this organization, but more stable individuals than me can’t? I don’t get it. I really don’t.
Have I really been unable to teach you the most important thing? It’s great to be yourself, and to be happy doing that, but the real key to steering your own life is to see opportunities, to dream up opportunities, to see what could be done and then do it. Where do you think TCX came from? There’s plenty of opportunities in TCX, without having to be told what to do, one just has to take advantage of them.
I have been working on the most important revision of TCX ever, but I have been keeping it a secret for the most part (except for 2 members) because I’m not going to release it until everything is in place. I’m tired of always revising before we get anywhere. I actually want to accomplish something before it’s too late. Until a cure is found my mind only has a limited time in this reality. :cries: You might think I’m being overly dramatic but it’s true. I’ve come to the realization after three years that I can’t dilute myself any longer. Take advantage of what we’ve got, what I’ve got, while you can. The intelligence, personality, spirit, and resonance you know as Asher won’t always be around… no matter how hard I fight… there is only coping. Nobody’s ever fixed.
So… maybe this is a cry for help, maybe this is a guilt trip, maybe this is inspiring because it actually shows life without embarassment, maybe this is a lot of things, I don’t really care what you think of it. All I care about is what you do with it.
A. C. Gmork Labyrinthian Kadran X. H.